People: Sophia Somerville
Photo by Britt Murphy, collage by Sophia Somerville
Name: Sophia Somerville (she/her)
Location: Marrickville, Sydney - Gadigal Land
Occupation/ Business: Writer & Tarot Therapist - Creator of Southern Spells. I offer channelled digital tarot readings, especially suited to artists, mothers, and people moving through grief and loss. I also offer ongoing healing support through 1:1 support sessions, on Zoom and in-person at The Calmm, Bondi. It feels lovely to be in the same room as clients again, after taking a big break from in-person stuff during the pandemic and my pregnancies/postpartum. I also offer two memberships; one for witches and one for writers.
Who makes up your family? It feels special (and rare) to be asked this question so thoughtfully. Usually it’s just a passing ‘is she your first?’ from a stranger in the supermarket, that leaves me feeling unseen and hollow. The idea of my own family unit, as a living breathing thing that my husband and I get to define and create and nurture and protect, feels new to me, and so important.
Our family begins with me and my husband Dom. In 2020 we adopted our fluffy cat, Nyx (named after the Ancient Greek Goddess of the Night). In early 2021 I fell pregnant with our first-borns: identical twin girls called Caroline and Frida. They died in utero when I was 6 months pregnant, and I birthed them at the Royal Hospital for Women on August 6 2021. Eleven months later their sister Gia was born. At the time of writing this she is 9 months old. Her name means ‘precious gift’.
What core principles / values inform your practice? There are three words that appear on my website (southernspells.com) that sum up the values that inform my work quite well. ‘Fun, Tender, Magic’.
Life can feel so serious, and I find it fundamental to let things be loose and free and silly as often as possible. This applies to my writing process, reading tarot, teaching workshops, holding space for clients, everything in my life really. Fun allows for movement, awe, and unexpected delight. Fun is the point. Fun is what I hope people experience from engaging with Southern Spells.
Tenderness is just a word that I really like. It encapsulates the inescapable reality of being a human with a heart. It represents the duality of love and grief, and that none of us get one without the other. They are two sides of the same coin. I did a lot of work in my younger years on understanding my own sensitivity and empathy, I needed to come to terms with it as a wound of mine and also a tremendous gift. My deep capacity to feel is something that is central to who I am, my creative process, and how I am able to connect with and help other people. It is also, strangely, what allows me to have a lot of fun adventures in life.
Magic to me is something that is found in mystery, strangeness, art, nature, and beauty. Working with a tool like Tarot has given me an appreciation for the unknown, something that is so uncomfortable but also holds tremendous value. Uncertainty and not-knowing is something we are taught to rail against, mistrust and fear. The more life that I experience the more I feel that it is something to partner with and get used to and learn from, because it ain’t going anywhere. The presence of mystery is so linked to creativity, to pregnancy, to loss, to raising children…all of the things that are important and relevant to me.
What are you currently working on, that you’d like to share with us: I’ve been happily working away on the second ‘season’ of Writing Club, which launches this week :) Writing Club is my supportive online group for anyone who wants to devote more time to their creative practice. It takes place on Zoom and consists of me leading my writers through a different ‘prompt’ each week as a way ‘in’ to each of our creative practices that day. Sometimes it’s a general theme that anchors us (like we had ‘Distraction’ and ‘Endings’ recently) or the work and life of an artist (we did a Salvador Dali one last week, that was a goodie). The second half of the session involves us all turning ourselves on mute and writing in silence (something about the alone/together-ness of it is very effective) and we end with a little sharing circle to unpack and reflect on what we felt and wrote.
It’s hard to put into words how quietly profound this space of soft but consistent creative accountability is. One of my writers described it as ‘an energetic container to return to mystery in writing’. It is as gentle as it is productive, and I find a lot of meaning in supporting creative people to show up for themselves in such an intimate, almost ritual setting. We have people working on short story collections, poems, important emails, lists, essays, as well as personal journaling and emotional processing work. It’s the fucking best.
I am also in the final stages of creating the first physical product for Southern Spells, which I am very excited for! I’m hoping to be complete with that by the Winter Solstice, and then start planning a launch around it.
What daily practices or rituals connect you with your centre? I am still breastfeeding and my morning feeds with Gia start my day in a way that feels like a connective ritual. It’s so intimate, and prompts me to notice how I’m feeling in my body. I’ve just gotten back into writing Morning Pages (three pages of stream-of-consciousness ‘brain-dump’ writing done first thing in the morning) - I don’t do this every day by any means but it is a practice I regularly return to. It helps me feel a bit more present and less mentally cluttered. Walks by the river and taking baths are two of my favourite rituals that I am returning to as the weather gets colder. I find both so cleansing and precious - the walks clear my head and the baths bring me back to my senses. I took so many baths during my pregnancy after the girls died, they helped me find moments of grounding and pleasure during an agonisingly anxious time.
It might not be the most obvious ritual but I love a good cafe moment: something about purposefully walking to a local coffee spot makes me feel appreciation for where I have chosen to live and work and raise my children. I have spent so much of my life moving around or wondering if I would be happier living somewhere other than where I was… so I am finding a new-found pleasure staying in one place, plugging into the communities I am already part of, and letting myself fall in love with my home. It feels good.
What does community mean to you? A feeling of emotional safety, protection, shared joy, creative power in numbers, gentle and practical support. Community is something that becomes more central to my life as I grow. I have always been quite suspicious of groups and thought of myself as a solitary, lone-wolf type for a long time. I think our wedding was a key moment that opened my eyes to how important and beautiful and loving our community was, and how it was something that I had actively nurtured. When Caroline and Frida died, the way our people showed up for and held us through our grief was very moving and life-giving. Community is love.
And how does community care and self-care intersect for you? This is something I have had to learn in postpartum, the intersection between the two. Before I had my babies I don’t think I really considered or understood the connections between self care and community care. In pregnancy and motherhood I quickly and painfully learned the necessity of letting myself be cared for in order to a) go on living and b) be able to care for my beloved children - in spirit and on earth. It’s that ‘village’ shit - it’s so real. Asking for and allowing myself to receive specific, practical help from the people in my village. I remember when Dom went back to work, it took me a couple of weeks to muster up the balls to ask a local friend to come over and hold Gia while I had a shower. That was a revolutionary moment of pride, that reminded me that asking for help is an act of self-care.
How has motherhood/ parenthood impacted or shaped your identity? Irrevocably. Dramatically. In big, heartbreaking, and deeply beautiful ways that are difficult to put into adequate language. The identity shift of my matrescence has been so full on and layered. Motherhood for me began with the birth and death of my daughters. With that came a profound loss of self, something I am still grieving. The pregnancy and birth of my daughter Gia mirrored the birth of a new self in me, one that is still emerging.
What is something you're proud of? I’m proud to still be here to be honest. I am proud of how I took care of myself (and continue to) in the wake of losing Caroline and Frida, the boundaries I held during such an incredibly difficult time. I’m proud of my marriage. I’m proud of my births. I’m proud of my three daughters and I’m proud to be their Mum. I’m proud of Southern Spells and how much I have allowed my work to grow and change with me.
My cup is full when… I am seeing/making art. Someone asks me about my girls, or tells me that something reminded them of Caroline and Frida. I am near the ocean or trees. I am in bed with my daughter and husband. Sharing tasty food with friends. Watching Gia play with our friends’ kids. Watching Gia do literally anything. I’ve cleaned the house and I can take in the beauty of our home. I’m about to watch my favourite show (currently: Jury Duty) with popcorn and a glass of something in hand. Heaven.
I am grateful for… My living baby.
A piece of advice I’d share with my younger self…Give yourself time to feel things and find ways to express those feelings. Don’t rush your process. Let yourself be misunderstood, stop trying to explain yourself to anyone else and just keep deepening your relationship to your own heart.
Where can we find you? You can find me at southernspells.com and @southernspells
Lastly, please use the space below to share with us something that comes to mind – a poem, a drawing, a thought, a story, a book you’re reading – whatever you are sitting with right now.
I’m reading All the Women in my Brain by Betty Gilpin at the moment and I’m loving it.
Photo by Britt Murphy
12.05.2023
