People: Lara Esrey
Name: Lara Esrey (they/them)
Location: I live and work on the unceded land of the Kanien’kehá:ka in Tiohtià:ke, also known as Montreal, Canada.
Occupation/ Business: Full Spectrum Birthworker & Community Herbalist
Who makes up your family? My little family is myself, my partner, and our two cats.
What core principles / values inform your practice? There are so many principles, values, and frameworks that inform the way I exist and work the world. I am heavily influenced by the tenets of reproductive justice, abolitionism, and mutual aid. There are so many other things that I keep in mind when navigating my work and the world, these are just the tip of the iceberg.
What are you currently working on? I’m currently working on a lot of personal knitting projects! I’m knitting socks for my partner and a couple sweaters for babies in my life who are about to have their first birthdays. I’m also working on filling my apothecary with go-to homemade items, and a couple community offerings that I haven’t yet announced.
What daily practices or rituals connect you with your centre? As someone who finds it really hard to turn down the volume of my anxious brain and rest (and also as someone who is hypermobile and cannot be still without hurting my body), moving my body through hiking/a walk in nature, yoga, or keeping my hands busy through something like knitting, helps me to feel grounded and present.
What does community mean to you? I think there are infinite ways that I could answer this question; community and what it means to me is something that I’m constantly re-negotiating and re-imagining, with myself and alongside others. Since moving back to Canada after a brief hiatus overseas just before the beginning of the pandemic, my community has been in a state of limbo.
My access to in-person and local community has been limited, and that has forced me to reimagine what it is exactly that community, for me, looks like. Throughout this experience, which has been isolating in many ways, I’ve been able to broaden my understanding of what community is by growing closer to an online community of folks who share not only in my work but in my values (through which I’ve gotten the opportunity to be featured here!).
How does community care and self-care intersect for you? This is such a good question, and something that I often find myself thinking about. In a culture and society where the concept of self-care has become profitable and part of a larger marketing scheme, it can be hard to reconnect it to what it really means. I am really grateful for my work because it shows me the value of caring for oneself and reminds me to do so. I cannot care for others if I do not first look after myself; caring for oneself is inextricably tied to caring for one’s community.
I think that because of my work, I care for myself better than I ever have; both because of the reminders this work gives me and because I could not possibly do this work without burning out unless I continue to care for myself. I know how to create and maintain boundaries around my capacity, and how to identify what my needs are at any given moment, and that makes me all the more capable of caring for my clients and community as best as I can.
How has motherhood/ parenthood impacted your identity?
I am not yet a parent, but I have wanted to be a mom ever since I can remember. Growing up with a mom who worked as a lactation consultant, I was always around little babies, and as a toddler and child I was always carrying all my dolls around with me, pretending to birth them and nurse them. I don’t think I ever questioned whether I wanted to be a parent or not.
As I approach the time in my life where having a baby becomes a more concrete reality (not yet, but in the next several years), I get more and more excited. Working with parents has only solidified this further. The idea of being a parent has always been a part of my identity, even without yet having a child. I’ve built my life and work around the idea of bringing a child into this world, and it frames my thinking around pretty much everything.
What is something you're proud of? I am proud of myself for starting and growing a successful business in the last year, and for not compromising my values to do so. Even when it felt terrifying to say no to opportunities that would’ve given me more security, I stood my ground. As a result, I now almost exclusively work with people and families that share in my values, and I get to do such life-affirming work with them.
An ongoing labour of love.. At the risk of sounding redundant, my work is an ongoing labour of love. What I love so much about the work that I do is that, as I continue to grow and evolve, my work can do this with me. What I offer and how I offer it gets to transform over time, not in the sense that it will be “better,” but in the sense that it will more authentically represent who I am and what I value, allowing me to always show up as a whole person for my clients, for my community, and for myself.
My cup is full when… When I get to spend time outside, ideally by the ocean or at least some sort of body of water; when I get to spend time with those I love; when cooking and sharing good food; and when I am able to let go of the capitalist framework of productivity and just do things that bring me joy.
I'm grateful for… I am really fortunate that I have many things to be grateful for. In my everyday life I am grateful that I have secure housing and live in a beautiful apartment with my partner and our two cats. I am grateful to be in a relationship where I feel secure, safe, and loved. And I am grateful that I get to fill my days with work that is meaningful to me and that I love.
Where can we find you (website, IG etc.)? You can find me on my website which is www.laraesrey.com and on my instagram @theplanteddoula.
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Lastly, please use the space below to share with us something that comes to mind – a poem, a drawing, a thought, a story, a book you’re reading – whatever you are sitting with right now.
Something that comes to mind is one of my favourite shows called Hilda; it’s an animated children’s show that follows an adventurous young girl who loves to be in nature. It’s calming, comforting, and engaging, and is my favourite thing to watch when I want to feel cozy and relaxed at home. The colour palette is natural and muted, and the music is super dreamy. It’s the perfect show if you need an escape or to feel like a kid again.
25.02.2022
