Self-Advocacy & Boundaries as Birth Preparation

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Image: Studio Specimen

“Boundaries give us the space to do the work of loving ourselves. They might be, actually, the first and fundamental expression of self-love.”

— Prentis Memphill

Honoring your intuitive "No" (or "Yes") can feel uncomfortable at first. -  especially when power dynamics, vulnerability, and big life transitions are in play. But the practice of connecting with your inner knowing, setting healthy boundaries, and using your voice, builds a deeper trust in yourself, your body, and your baby. And when we strengthen this muscle before birth, it becomes that much more accessible during labour.

I believe that self advocacy is an essential skill that is not only beneficial before and during labour, but one that allows you to step into your postpartum and parenting experience with more confidence. Because advocating for ourselves, and our families, has lifelong impacts.

Below I’ve outlined several practices that you can begin now, wherever you are on your journey. Adapt these as you will, explore what. feels right for you, and go ahead on your journey with the knowledge that your voice matters.

1. Daily Practice

   • Set small boundaries in everyday situations

   • Practice saying "no" in low-pressure scenarios

   • Express preferences clearly in regular conversations

2. Birth Preparation

   • Role-play scenarios with your partner/support person

   • Write down your non-negotiables

   • Practice using your voice during pregnancy appointments

3. Body Connection

   • Regular body scanning to identify comfort/discomfort

   • Trust your gut reactions in daily decisions

   • Notice when you override your intuition and explore why

4. Communication Tools

   • Create cards with your key phrases

   • Establish hand signals with your support team

   • Practice different ways of saying "no" (verbal and non-verbal)

15 Ways to Express Boundaries During Labour

Remember: Your "no" might not always be available due to stress, trauma responses, anxiety, fear, or intense sensations. Having multiple tools and practiced responses makes accessing them easier when needed. Your support team can also help voice these boundaries when you need backup.

1. "I need more information before deciding"

2. "That doesn't feel right for me right now"

3. "I'd like to try something else first"

4. "Give me a moment to center myself"

5. "Not yet - I want to wait"

6. "Please ask before touching me"

7. "I want to move differently"

8. "Let me check in with my body first"

9. "I need privacy for this part"

10. "Can you explain why this is necessary?"

11. "I'd like to explore other options"

12. "Let me consult with my support team"

13. "This position isn't working - I need to change"

14. "I want to follow my body's lead"

15. "Show me the evidence for that"

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30.01.2023